Starting something new
On a cold February morning, we kicked off something new. Not just another financial seminar. Not another checklist of “do this, buy that.” This was personal. Raw. Honest. And if we’re being real? A little scary. The class was called Becoming a Net Millionaire, but it could have easily been called Facing Your Financial Fears. Because that’s where we began. Not with spreadsheets or compound interest charts, but with stories. Our stories.
The mindset behind the money
We opened with a simple truth: your money mindset – your emotional relationship with money – drives everything. Every spending habit, every savings goal, every missed opportunity. It’s rooted deep in childhood. Some of us grew up hearing “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “we’re poor.” Others heard silence – money was never discussed, and so we never learned.
For me, I didn’t know we were poor growing up. My mom never said it. But I remember boiling water for baths, living off food stamps and food boxes. We always had a roof over our heads, and love was never in short supply – but the lessons about money? They came through struggle, not conversation.
Fast forward to adulthood, marriage, and a second chance at financial control. I handed the reins over to my husband, Jeff, because he was great with numbers. An accountant-brained, spreadsheet-loving protector. I thought I was doing us a favor by staying out of it. But in truth, I was staying small. Staying scared. I was carrying shame from past financial failures, lost houses, a plummeting credit score that hit 450. And I didn’t even know it could go that low.
Financial transparency, without the shame
We started this class with the goal of being transparent. Jeff and I made a commitment to show you what we’ve done right, what we’ve done wrong, and how we turned it around. In six years, we rebuilt everything – from our credit scores to our confidence. We got out of debt. Started tracking our net worth. We created written plans, built emergency funds, and actually started talking about money without turning it into a fight.
And oh, there were fights.
One moment stands out. Jeff once presented me with a spreadsheet detailing all our discretionary spending. I snapped. Not because he was wrong, but because it triggered my five-year-old self. The one who felt judged. Bad. Reckless. But over time, we learned that shame doesn’t serve us. Communication does.
The four questions that changed everything
During class, we asked everyone to reflect on four deceptively simple questions:
- Why do you want to make money?
- How much is enough?
- How will you spend your money?
- What legacy do you want to leave?
And then we added three more:
- How did your mom treat money?
- How did your dad treat money?
- What would your spouse, kids, or closest friends say about your financial habits?
The answers?
Often eye-opening. Sometimes painful. Always telling.
The money mind quiz
We also took a quiz to uncover our money personalities. Are you driven by happiness, protection, or commitment? I scored high on happiness – no surprise to Jeff. I love experiences, travel, giving, treating others. But I’ve learned that unchecked happiness spending comes at a cost. Jeff scored high on protection. No surprise there either. He’s the saver, the spreadsheet guy, the one who doesn’t miss a payment – not because he loves numbers, but because he never wants to feel the instability he witnessed growing up.
And together? We balance each other. Sometimes awkwardly. Sometimes beautifully.
Behavior > head knowledge
Here’s what we’ve learned: 80% of financial success is behavior. Only 20% is knowledge. That means you don’t need to be a math whiz to build wealth – you just need to shift your habits.
The four steps we focused on:
- Spend less than you make. Sounds simple, but most don’t.
- Get on a written plan. Not just a budget – a proactive, intentional plan.
- Build an emergency fund. Whether it’s $1,000 or six months of expenses, start now.
- Track your net worth. Even if the number scares you. Especially then.
We use tools like Mint, EveryDollar, and Personal Capital to help us stay on top of it. Mint, in particular, pulls in all our accounts, categorizes our spending, and gives us an up-to-the-minute snapshot of our financial life.
Lessons from millionaires (and UPS Drivers)
We shared a few powerful stories too. Like Theodore Johnson, a UPS driver who never made more than $14,000/year but died with a $70 million net worth. How? He started saving 20% of his income early and let compound interest work its magic.
Or Tony Robbins, who hit a financial plateau – earning $1M/year for seven years straight – until he realized he had to shift his beliefs, not just his strategy. The next level always requires new thinking.
What’s Next
This is just the beginning. We’ll meet every month to continue learning and growing together. Together, we’ll dive into books, tools, taxes, investing, and wealth building strategies. We’ll track our numbers. We’ll tell the truth. And we’ll support each other, without shame.
Because the goal isn’t just to become a net millionaire. The goal is to become the kind of person who can steward wealth well. With clarity, confidence and with purpose.